Archive for the ‘Gaming Previews’ Category

With today bringing news that sexist commentator Andy Gray has been axed from the next instalment of Fifa 12, I thought this was the best time to start talking about a hotly tipped, high impact, yearly franchised game such as…..well…..Fifa 12.

Fifa 12 Cover Art Concept

Fifa 12 has vast changes not just commentators

So yes Andy Gray has gone, but don’t worry the answer as to his replacement is at the bottom of this review. The other goodish news is that you can choose to have Martin Tyler and his new associate or you can have the comedy commentary of Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend. Now that is a shocker (Unless you owned previous Fifa’s) But onto the actual review

So other than the above statements what has changed in Fifa 12, well we will start with just about everything. The ‘Press’ button has been removed and that now makes defending an actual skill, no more will people be able to hold down a button and a defender nipping the ball away from Messi with virtually no skill needed. Attacking has also been altered with the ability to hold up the ball, closer control with dribbling has also been implemented and more importantly than all those put together is the new ‘Impact Engine.’ In the past a collision would send body parts into an almost laughable manor of limbs going through players, tackles not making a difference how hard you tried to destroy Christiano Ronaldo and you get the idea. Now tackles will make a difference, actual injuries will be made if you try and snap someone’s leg, a collision system that should detect even the best of bumps and concussions.

Andy Gray and Richard Keys

Andy Gray gets dropped by Sky first and now EA. What next?

But for me the best is yet to come, finally the Pro Player Intelligence system that ‘supposedly’ was implemented in Fifa 11 is apparently ready and waiting. So for instance, Peter Crouch will be ready to head the ball into the net, Messi will be able to closely dribble the ball, Drogba will have the strength to hold off opponents, and John Terry will be able to hit on friends girlfriends – Just like in real life.

Well the last one you may not be able to do, but you get the point. But all of this comes at a price, and that price is that if you fell in love with Fifa 11 you have to get used to a whole new different ball game (Pardon the pun). So what do you think? Looking forward to the challenge? Or do you expect a difficult relegation battle? Judging from previous years, I’m making Fifa 12 the bookies favourites and expecting Pro Evo to be relegated to the Bargain bin almost instantaneously.

P.S. The person who is replacing Andy Gray is Alan Smith discuss…

Fifa 12 will be available to purchase on 30th September 2012 for Microsoft X-Box 360, Playstation 3, Nintendo Wii, Sony PSP and PC

Use these Pre-Order links and get 18 Gold packs (3 packs per month for 6 months) to build your dream club in FIFA 12 Ultimate Team.

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Details are sketchy at best but Forza 4 is looking like it will go at the very top of my Christmas must have list. The game builds on the success of the Forza Motorsport franchise and reportedly adds lots more cars, lots more courses and appeals to hard-core drivers as well as the more casual gamer. But one has to ask the question if it isn’t broke, why are you trying to fix it?

Yes there were a few annoyances in Forza 3, but these small ‘annoyances’ were just that small. I mean honestly I didn’t hear many people complaining about the game, what I did hear were a lot of Sony fans complaining that GT5 had still not been released.  So if they are going to increase its popularity or release a ‘polished’ version of Forza they were going to have to pull something out of the bag.

Forza Motorsport 4 Cover Art

The cover car Ferrari 458 Italia is a slight change from the usual

As I said earlier, details are very sketchy, but a leaked internal only video has been on YouTube for us to all look at and analyse as much as possible. Firstly, it looks as though Microsoft are trying to entice those casual ‘Sunday drivers’ with the Kinect system. Basically it allows those who maybe don’t like to use the controller to control the car using just your hands (Ideal if your 12). That’s not all you can do with the Kinect though, this time you can actually look around the car, or even get in the car and look at the superb details that you’re obviously going to be noticing when you’re speeding through the desert doing 200MPH. Also when using the Kinect system and driving you can view your side mirrors to see who is behind you or to your right, useful, but really not going to appeal to the hard-core gamer.

So, if you are a hard-core gamer, what’s in it for you, well……. Not a lot. You can now play online with up to 16 mates in an all new online racing system, perfect so long as no-one hacks X-Box Live. More than 80 manufacturers are also going to be available in-game for you to tune and hone to your hearts content. There also appears to be more fully featured F1 support, although this may get overlooked as an addition that is not necessary, especially regarding the new-found love for the increasingly popular F1 yearly series of games. Other improvements are a supposedly new career mode, active aero on specific cars, and the exhaust pops when you decelerate quickly – amazing improvements!

Another noticeable addition is that of the Top Gear team, who along with aiding Microsoft in their development of the game have also seemingly given the rights to reproduce the Top Gear Test Track (Good Microsoft copy something else from Sony) and the Transfagarasan Road in Romania that was featured in the show.

Forza Motorsport 4 Screenshot

Okay admittedly that looks impressive - The game is due for release in Autumn of this year

However, all in all I don’t see any major upgrades for the hard-core driver/gamer. I loved Forza 3 because it had ground breaking graphics and was as good a driving simulator as you could get for the 360. And whilst I will be buying it (I love my racing games) it will only be bought because Forza 3 is getting old and I have practically finished Gran Turismo 5. But at first glance (Which is what this is) I am fairly un-impressed.

Check back after E3 when hopefully more details will come to light and hopefully I will have changed my mind. For those of you who want to see the leaked trailer it is available via this YouTube link. Remember, its low res and Microsoft have stated that ‘The video in question was not intended for public distribution and may not accurately reflect features and functionality that ship in Forza Motorsport 4.’

The game will be available late 2011 (In time for Chrimbo)

The Gears of War series and I have a strange relationship. I was badgered into buying the first two by an ex, mainly so we could play in the Xbox online. Now I did enjoy playing the games, but I didn’t get as into it as most of its fans. I barely played the online multiplayer, since every time I did I took two steps and was shot in the head from behind. So I had a tendency to RageQuit, and avoided the online mode like a growling bulldog. When I pre ordered the third game (again, persuaded by an ex) I received a code to try the multiplayer beta for a limited time. I thought, ‘it would be a waste to not use it, and it might make for a good review’ so I decided to keep it and jump right in. Do I regret it? Let’s find out…

Gears of War 3 Screenshot

Gears of War 3 promises to be one of this years best selling games

Upon starting the game, I had a quick browse at the multiplayer options. At first, you only get access to four characters. Two of those are the COGs (the good guys); Marcus and Dom, two guys who couldn’t be any more butch if they had testosterone for sweat. The other two are Locust, the bad ‘Guys’. I use the term loosely, as I cannot tell them apart.  You can also choose what two weapons you wish to take with you on your quest to perforate anything made of flesh. Your primary weapon can be either the trusty lancer (assault rifle with a chainsaw on the end… Not over the top at all), the hammerburst (A machine gun that fires as fast as you can pull the trigger), and a new addition to the weapon roster; the retro lancer. The different between this gun and the lancer used in the previous games is the retro version has no chainsaw attachment. Instead it’s equipped with a bayonet, meaning you charge forward and impale your target. The secondary weapon is your spread shot gun. This can be the gnasher (from the first two games) or the newcomer, the sawed off shotgun; an incredibly powerful but slow gun.

I’ve used all these and they all handle very differently. This is good as you can cater your weapons set to suit your own play style or tactics. As a rule of thumb, if you’re new to the Gears series, I recommend using the default lancer/gnasher setup. The lancer has a good rate of fire and accuracy, and the gnasher holds 8 rounds per clip, so you can unload a few shots if you need to be up close and personal. More advanced players are better adept with the hammerburst and retro lancer. The retro lancer is stronger than the regular gun, but the bullets are less accurate, and charging with the bayonet is a big risk since there’s a chance your adversary can empty a clip into your face before you even graze him. The sawed off is the hardest to use, as you need to be so close to the enemy you can see the whites of their eyes.  Additionally, there is an option to customise the look of your weapons; instead of everyone using guns that look similar, you can apply skins to change the visuals. For example, my lancer has the Gears logo painted on, and I’ve seen other players using lancers with a flame skin. It might not seem much, but imagine this; slicing someone with a lancer is all well and good, but picture slicing someone open with a lime green or a hot pink lancer. To me, that brings a chuckle or two.

Once I had a play around with the menu, I opted for the team deathmatch game, to see what Gears3 will be like. While waiting to jump into a game, I was anxious, since my experience with the last two Gears played out like this:

“OK, I’m ready. Let’s do it”

*Takes 3 steps forward*


*Shotgun from behind… Dead*



This happened a lot. Even when I kept close to another player and tried some strategy, I just couldn’t manage a single game. This time, though, I ran for cover, and started to find the nearest enemy. I popped a couple of shots in before my character was killed. I thought about quitting there, but I carried on regardless. Second attempt went a bit better; I managed to down an opponent, and even killed them. From then on, I scored a good number of kills before I was blown to bits by a sawed off. I wasn’t so disgruntled, since I did manage to score a few points, so I kept going. It wasn’t until the third round, however, that I had an epiphany… I was having fun playing online. I… enjoyed it. This came as a huge shock to me, and even when I was stabbed by a retro lancer, I laughed it off. I was having too much fun to care. Now, when I scored a kill, I didn’t think ‘Oh thank God for that’ I thought ‘Oh Hell yeah!’.  I even gave myself a pat on the back when I snuck up on someone and impaled them on a retro lancer. RageQuit is now a thing of the past.

The beta handles very well. For a multiplayer game that’s still in development, I saw no problems at all. My character moved and handled smoother than the previous two games, and there was never a hint of lag anywhere. They’ve kept the controls from the previous titles, which is great, as the layout was always simple to memorise and become accustomed to.  What I found surprising was another new feature; the ability to share ammo with other players. All you do is aim at a teammate and press the Y button. This is handy in cases like playing Horde, or if you don’t have time to scavenge for ammunition.

Gears of War 3 Cover Art

Gears of War 3 is available for the X-Box 360 only from the 20th of September

So far, there’s only been 4 maps available to try online; Checkout, Thrashball, Trenches andOldTown. Each map is completely unique, in terms of looks and layout, and all have a different style of play. Checkout is set in a ruined shopping centre, with debris littering the floor, and opportunities for cover everywhere. This one is quite confined, as the debris covers most of the map. There’s little chance to move about, so you will end up going toe to toe with an enemy frequently. The gnasher here is your best friend. Thrashball takes place in a stadium for the fictional sport… well, Thrashball. Sports equipment and other objects are turned into walls for COGs and Locust to hide behind. This is more of an open map, which can see the opposing teams on either side of the map taking part in an old fashioned shootout. This is my favourite map, as there’s little place to hide from the mayhem. OldTownis based in an old town (surprisingly).  It’s a broken market town, with the main square in the centre, and alleys on either side, for flanking opportunities. This is the biggest of the maps I think, so finding the enemy will be difficult, particularly if they’re down to their last few guys.  Trenches drops you in a mining outpost, littered with mine carts.  The gimmick of this map is the siren that sounds off at random times. When you hear it, ten seconds later a thick layer of dust settles rendering visibility to nil for a brief period of time. Also, on the hill in the lower centre of the map, there is an incredibly powerful sniper rifle, called the Longshot. It’s basically a Barrett M82 which has been given the Gears workout. One shot will obliterate anything. No bodies collapsing; they just burst like a watermelon. Smarter players will seize this gun and stay hidden, taking potshots at everyone. This is the only map that has the opportunity for someone to ‘camp’; staying in one spot and taking out the enemy from a distance. I hate campers, and I’m glad the method can only be achieved in one out of the four maps.

The beta gives you three games to try out; team deathmatch, king of the hill and capture the leader. I’ve played the first two, and I can say both play out very differently. Team deathmatch is a new addition to the Gears franchise, and each team has a pool of lives. When a player is killed and respawned, that team loses a life. Once they are depleted, it can get quite tense when both sides are down to their last few teammates. It soon turns into something from theAlamo, and if the weaker team wins, it gives you a real sense of victory. Not many games can pull that off, and I play this mode the most. King of the hill is a points building mode. Teams must seek out and capture floating rings that appear in different locations. After a certain amount of time the ring moves somewhere else and must be recaptured. This mode focuses on defence and tactics, since I’ve seen teams bunch up on threes to defend rings. Team deathmatch can see you in a full on assault, but king of the hill sees you planning a surprise attack or an ambush. They’re really varied modes, and I was surprised to see that. My impression of online gaming was everyone either shoots everything that moves, or just camps somewhere, no matter what type of mode they are playing. But Gears makes you think about problem solving.

Now guns and grenades are all good, but most of the time they just make your target drop to their knees and crawl around. In the previous games your character crawled around until they bled out and died, or if someone revived them. This time, it’s a little different. When you fall to the floor, you can mash the A button to crawl away and find a team mate to give you a pick me up, or if you’re really lucky, you revive yourself and carry on. Kind of a Monty Python ‘Tis but a scratch’ deal. This must be because players were getting annoyed about bleeding out with no means to get back up. It means the game can last longer, and in turn, be more about fun. That doesn’t mean you have to leave an enemy bleeding on the floor, you can ‘put them out of their misery’… with executions. They vary depending on what weapon you have equipped, and how long you press a certain button. Tapping the Y button delivers a satisfying curb stomp to the victims head. It might be wrong to enjoy it, but it is a lot of fun. Holding down the Y button lets you carry out a more brutal execution. The retro lancer makes you stab the jugular, and gnasher is used like a golf club, and the head is a golf ball, and so on. It’s only a small feature, but it’s worth mentioning for its humour factor.

In conclusion, I am thoroughly engrossed in this game; more than I though I would be. It doesn’t feel as serious as the other two, and it’s much easier to handle. I cannot wait for the full game to be released.  A full review of that will follow.

Score: 10/10

Review carved into a Locust’s chest by: Satchel

P.S. One more thing I must want to add… Carmine must die. Those who have read the Gears of War website will know what I mean when I voice this opinion.

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Those of you who know me know my views on the 3DS and those that don’t know me please read my Nintendo 3DS Preview Post Now we’re all caught up to date, who wants a review of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for the 3DS.

Link vs. Robin Hood Comparison

Seriously!! Link meet Robin, Robin this is LInk

Firstly, I feel as though it would benefit us all if we took a look at the original and told our readers who don’t know about Zelda what the game is all about. You play the role of Link – a hero who looks strangely like Robin Hood. You travel around a kingdom called Hyrule in a sacred attempt to defeat a guy called Ganondorf who is attempting to find a relic known as a Triforce. (Keeping up) The triforce has the power to grant its owners’ wishes and Link is seriously against this. And all of this because you are the chosen one who gets woken up by a damn fairy, referred to as Navi. (Still keeping up) So with your trusty fairy, (Did I just say trusty fairy) you navigate caves, search through dungeons, get eaten by a big whale (No, I’m not joking) all in your attempts to stop this guy (Ganondorf) from petty theft. The ocarina plays a major part in the game, as you have to play it to go back and forwards in time, and other things such as summon your horse (If memory serves me well)

So why would you want this and not the original, here’s my review. This is not a re-working, so anyone who questions my reviewing abilities can go and stand on a very busy motorway. Although they have updated the graphics and they have included two new ‘never before seen’ modes for those who want something a little different from the original (Although why would you want to change the original) The extra modes (At least according to Game) are Master Quest and Boss Challenge. The Master Quest mode though just seems rather useless as the only differences are that the land of Hyrule is mirrored (A rather boring novelty in most games) puzzles appear harder and you have to think about them (Isn’t that why they are called puzzles) items and enemies will appear in different locations and enemies will prove more difficult to beat (Has anyone even attempted beating Ganondorf on the N64, he was difficult to begin with) The Boss Challenge mode, does what it says on the tin and offers the player the ability to ‘face any of the previous Bosses they have defeated once again, or, the option to face and confront them one-by-one, all in a continuous battle.’ This made me, once again wonder if Nintendo are just taking your money for the re-release of a game, as this mode seems mundane, and I wonder just how many people would use it.

Graphics / Screenshots of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for the Nintendo 3DS

Is it me or are these graphics just not as impressive as expected

Now knowing that my reviews and previews for anything Nintendo get scrutinised quite a bit it would make sense for me to tell you the other features, in case someone points out that I haven’t. Well I’ll tell you some of the main new features. The first main feature is that it’s all in ‘glorious’ 3D, and I used the quotation marks because I know a lot of my fellow gamers see this feature as a novelty, and other people see this as a nauseous experience. (Their words, not mine) The original control scheme has gone out of the window to be ‘improved’ by an all new and intuitive system. Now I played the original and I am happy to report that I understood how to play the game and completed it. I can’t see how you can improve the control scheme, although I know that the 3DS doesn’t have as many buttons as the N64 and this is probably why they have had to redesign the controls. The only other major feature is that you get to use the built-in gyro sensor to look around your world by moving the 3DS. As far as I can see that feature is the only feature that I would class as a feature, it is a good idea and a great use of the gyro sensor (If it works properly).

This review seems very biased, and I don’t like to swear in my reviews so you fill in this blank space ______ you. I am not biased towards any console, manufacturer or religion, I loved the original version of this, I feel as though the N64 was one of the most undervalued consoles of its time and this is one of the best games on that console.

Zelda: Ocarina of Time Cover Art

Is the updated features and functionality going to make this a legend?

So should you buy it? Well the game RRP’s for £39.99 so a quick search on Amazon (Actually does do a quick search on amazon too) and you can buy both the Nintendo 64 and the original game for £30. So, personally I would buy that and here’s why. The original is always best (Godfather 1, Saw 1, Halloween1 etc.) so why would you go and buy a re-working that isn’t even a re-working.  You would get the chance to own one of the most under-rated consoles of all time. Also, you would get to play some of the greatest games of all time (Zelda, Perfect Dark, Goldeneye, Mario Kart, Super Mario 64 the list really is endless)

OK, that’s great, but I already own an N64 and Zelda, so do I buy this? No you don’t, you keep the £39.99 and buy an extra-large mallet to hit yourself over the head for the suggestion of buying this. The improvements, if you can call them that are minimal and boring, not to mention that the 3D effect causes nausea, headaches and a free visit to your local chemist for something to counter act the nausea and headaches (Not to mention the trip to the hardware store for the extra-large mallet).

So to finish my review, the original gets a score of around the 9.9999995 mark. (Or would if I was reviewing it) But I’m not so…….

Score:  5/10

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of  Time will be available to buy from the 17th of June 2011

Review carefully drafted whilst watching scrubs and making reference to it in this review by: parkergordon

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Whilst the rest of the world are going Portal crazy we thought we’d be different and instead review Vitua Tennis 4 World Tour (Don’t worry, a Portal 2 review will be coming soon…….ish)

Now similarly to my Tiger Woods Golfing review, I haven’t played a tennis game for absolutely ages, so when I got the chance to try out virtua tennis 4 world tour I was happy to oblige. The first thing I noticed is how much the game seems to have evolved, whilst at the same time remain accessible for those who are quite casual as well as hardcore gamers. Even one of the levels of difficulty is a casual setting which is a big plus, if you’re like me and do a 9 to 5 Monday to Friday job.

Virtua Tennis 4 Cover Art

Virtua Tennis 4 available for PS3, X-Box 360 and Nintendo Wii from April 29th

So how has this game evolved exactly well firstly it’s got quite a good create a player mode (Which you start off doing) and probably has more features then I can care about (Why would I care how far apart my eyes are as an instance) Secondly there’s a story mode, a fairly good one at that. You start off playing in Japan and are meant to work your way around the globe to become champion. Whilst doing that you have a variety of ‘events’ or ‘training sessions’ to go to and of course there’s the mandatory ‘autograph signings’ to endure/enjoy on your way. All in all the story mode seems to have it down to a tee (Oh no wait that’s golf).  Also available on the full version (Still waiting for that call from Sega offering me a game on the full version) will be the ability to use the PS Move which, despite flagging sales reports this week, still has a major part to play in Sony’s future. If done correctly this could finally be a reason for me to buy a PS Move, if done like the Wii maybe not (Unfortunately early reviews of this seem to say that it’s closer to Wii Sports than anything wildly different) And with game modes like World Tour, Arcade, Exhibition, Practice, Party (Not playable so unreviewable) Motion Play and the expected Network modes there’s plenty there for people to shake a stick (Or racket) at. But  this all seems a fairly alien concept to me, especially since the last time I played a tennis game Anna Kournakova was still a tennis sensation. But I like it because it actually gives the game some merit, and if your change the difficulty after beating the game, gives it some replay value.

These are all excellent points, but remember when I said it has evolved in some areas and not in others, here’s the other;  the controls seem very stiff and it doesn’t seem to matter how fast you press the buttons or not. In real life if you swing too early you have the possibility of missing it and if you swing too late then the ball boy is picking the ball up off the ground.  It can seem like an eternity to go through the story mode especially since you have to use so called ‘Tokens’ to move through the game, which can be annoying if you wanted to sign some autographs but couldn’t ‘cos your tokens don’t/won’t let you. The opposition seem dumbfounded at times, looking around gormlessly for the ball that had zipped past them two hours ago. However, this may be because I was playing on casual, although a lot of other reviewers have the same opinion. The controls are very similar to the games I played back in the late 90’s press this button, aim it overs there, run over there, get ready for return etc. But of course how can you change the controls radically without getting some critical acclaim from someone.

The graphics however are quite spot on, on more than one occasion I thought my girlfriend had sat on the remote and I was somehow watching Wimbledon in the Spring.

Virtua Tennis 4 Screenshot

Looking at this it's easily clear how good the garphics are

There will no doubt be those of you who say well tennis is boring to watch, why would I want to play it? Well cricket is boring to watch but Brian Lara Cricket was a very playable game, and so is this. I can actually imagine myself playing it on casual and then switching the difficulty level up and trying to beat Nadal on the pro difficulty. I used to get bored of tennis games with great ease but this one made me want to play so much more than any of them ever used to, and that playability is something lacking in most video games these days.

So to sum up, this game offers a lot for its money (Or will do on its impending release) not to mention the online abilities that are sure to be another reason to hone your skill and play this game again and again. Even the seriousness of some of the flaws that it has can be made up because the game impresses you on so many other levels and in so many other places (Gameplay for example)

Even the demo (Available on the PSN for all members now) allows you to play for a fair amount of time (Enough to make you realise if you want the game or not) and possibly even more interesting, allows you to keep your save game data, and will transfer it into the full game if you buy it.

I have to say I am very impressed with Sega’s new breed of tennis games, and with the lead development team being shifted back to Sega’s Japan division, it’s easy to see the difference (Not that I’m saying Sega of America or Sega of Europe couldn’t hack it).

So, should you but it?? Should I buy it?? Are you going to buy Portal?? Or did you just stumble upon this on your downtime whilst playing Portal?? The answer to all four questions is probably yes. I mean I think I will buy it, If you like tennis you should probably buy it, if you’re going to buy Portal then this review is possibly of no use to you, and if you are reading this on your downtime away from portal well then you probably can’t even see the words ‘cos you’ve been on portal all day.

The Virtua Tennis 4 World Tour demo is available now on PS3 only. The game is due for release on the 29th of April for all major consoles.

Score: 8/10

Made from the finest Columbian lighter fluid by: parkergordon

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Now I admit I haven’t played a golf game since the early days of the Tiger Woods PGA series, but surely not that much has changed right? I mean golf is golf at the end of the day right? Wrong.

In the past, golf games stuck to a very simple approach that meant that even if you didn’t like the game you could pick up the controller and just play whenever you had a casual minute or two. Playing this game for almost half an hour I think I would have needed all day to like it, and it just didn’t happen.

Tiger Woods PGA 12 : The Masters Cover Art

Notice how small the words 'Tiger Woods PGA 12' are. I wonder why!?

So let’s look at what’s new in this year’s version. Well first things first, there is no Tiger Woods on the front cover. Whether this is due to Tigers ‘off-field’ shenanigans, or because EA felt the need to take the game in a separate direction we’ll never know, but either way he’s slipped off the cover. Even the games name (Tiger Woods PGA 2012) is now in small letters at the bottom of the game case, rather than emblazoned on the front in giant letters. Of course that doesn’t change the way the game plays so let’s take a look into that.

There is only one word to describe the gameplay and that is awful. They seem to have spent way too much time, effort and probably money capturing the license so that players can play the Hallowed Grounds of Augusta National Golf Club’ and take a ‘run at capturing the distinctive Green Jacket.’ And if I may steal a line from Happy Gilmore ‘Gold Jacket, Green Jacket, who gives a shit’.

The gameplay makes you use the left stick (Playstation 3) or the Playstation Move to take aim and set your power. After about 20 minutes of trying to get this right (Using the Playstation 3 controller) I gave up and I think I got maybe two, three shots that were perfect. This new version also has a caddie for you to be friends with. Aside from the fact that he is a right royal annoyance, he also suggests shots that you may like to take, and his judgement is terrible. You’re better off hiring the labour party to calculate your shots than this guy.  This game made me more frustrated than I have ever been at playing a game and has very few redeeming features.

Tiger Woods Screenshot

Tiger Woods doesn't have Tiger Blood. Neither is he winning

The only thing I can think of is that if you are a seasoned veteran of this game you may just have the time to play it and enjoy it. But if you were like me and just wanted a couple of holes of golf after work, then your better of dusting off that old Playstation 1 system and buying a very cheap version of one of the first PGA tour games.

Saying that though, the graphics are very polished and do look very authentic, at more than one point I actually thought I was watching a video, but this feature alone will not make the game any better. And the ‘Broadcast Presentation’ is quite a nice feature too and makes it feel as though you’re watching it on TV, and in all honesty you are better off watching it on TV.

So to sum up, unless you have all day to hone your skills (Doley, student, stay at home mum, drug addict, lazy sod) then you won’t and can’t possibly enjoy this game. And unless someone tells me otherwise, you will most likely be using this game, the best way possible, as a coaster within 30-45 minutes.

This game will be available to buy from April 1st 2011 on Playstation 3, Nintendo Wii and X-Box 360.

Score: 3/10

Review done during a Charlie Sheen promotion stunt by: parkergordon

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If you remember in my first ever review, I thought the Dynasty Warriors series never really offered anything new, and that it was rehashing the same things with better graphics. Well, after scouring the internet, I found the official site to Dynasty Warriors 7, and it seems I am not the only one who thought that; KOEI may have actually listened to gamers, as DW7 looks to have been given the much needed enhancements.

Dynasty Warriors 7

For the first time in the history of the game Dynasty Warriors now has a Story Mode

You are all aware the game is set during the Three Kingdoms era (based on the historical novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms). Well now they’ve extended it to include the Jin Dynasty, which came after the wars between Wei, Wu and Shu. This means they have added a new kingdom: Jin. This I’m looking forward to, since I wanted more settings than just the same plots done again and again. And the player gets to find out what happens after the fall of the Three Kingdoms, when Sima Yi (the cunning Wei strategist) takes over and starts the Jin Dynasty. Another kingdom means more characters, meaning more methods of decimating thousands of lowly soldiers (joy).

Reading further into the site, KOEI claim that cut scenes blend seamlessly into the gameplay. So you could be watching a scene where a character charges through a forest, stops by the enemy camp, and you can now start the mayhem straight away. No more blackouts that take you away from the experience.

Dynasty Warriors 7 Case Artwork

Dynasty Warriors 7 will be available on the PS3 and the X-Box 360 from the 8th April

According to the site, characters can use a wide variety of weapons; from swords, to spears, to axes, for example. You can additionally equip two weapons, and switch between them on the fly to deal greater damage, a technique known as a “switch attack”. Now this is pretty good, as you now have a much bigger move set at your disposal, but I liked how the characters had their own weapons; like Sima Yi had his claws, Xiahou Dun has the mace, and Zhuge Liang uses a fan. I’m on the fence with this feature, so I won’t make any judgements until I see the game.

One of the biggest additions is Conquest Mode. This looks promising, as you can travel through ancient China, battling for dominance. It allows you to visit cities, recruit new allies, create new weapons, and so on. This is what DW was lacking I felt; just to have the chance to travel the country, and visit towns, as well as taking part in epic battles is what might add more enjoyment to the game.

I do enjoy the series, but I have never been one to look forward to their release, mostly because I know there wasn’t going to be anything new. But after reading up on the 7th game, I am now quite excited. The full review will come when the game is released, on the 8th of April.

Stay tuned, Gamers.

Pre-Order Dynasty Warriors 7 (Xbox 360) from

Pre-Order Dynasty Warriors 7 (PS3) from